I'm baaack!

I'm back from Laguna! UPCCC Leadership Training Institute: My Mission, My Generation -Louder than Before!

May I first say... LTI was so fun! It just keeps getting better each year. It's my third year attending the LTI and I love it!

photo grabbed from Ate Lu's Facebook (I think) hehe

I had fun, I learned a lot, I taught, I sang, I lost my shirt and had a new one, I was so blessed. Or should I say, WE were all blessed and had a swell time. The lesson that really struck me, and until now God is teaching me, is LOVE. Yep, you read it right. LOVE.

"Jesus replied: 'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. A second is equally important: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.'" (Matthew 22:37-39 NLT)

The two morning devotions were about love, the last seminar in the Leadership level was about love, and and and... the pastor's sermon this morning was about being filled..with love. I love it! Although I cannot say I already love everyone (it's a hard thing to do) -I know it's a process. Getting there... God's love compels us to love others. Hmmm.. Reminds me of what they always say waaay back in elementary: Caritas Christi urget nos.

A question some ask in LTI was... SINO? Hehe. So here, I'll have to thank certain people. Although everyone played  a part of making is LTI meaningful for me: LOUDER than before! (in no particular order)

• Marga. It's your first LTI. You were able to raise full support (at sobra pa). And I saw that you had aa great time. I hope to see more of you in the movement. (And the 'Sana Nanalo Ka ng Award' Award goes to.... Mich! XP)
• Mich. It's your first LTI. The Lord's provision is indeed more than enough! Bibbo kid! We're gonna move this coming sem!
• Sarah. Wala man si ate Ro--- ay Nicol pala. Hehe. You've been a blessing to me Sarah. Parang ampon lang. Haha. *hug*
• Tin aka Baldo. Haha. I never thought you'd raise support for a new shirt for me! That was just sooo sweet. *hug* Thanks for emcee-ing, super! And thanks for your sabon. Haha. The morning devotions with you, Abi, and Teten, were one of my LTI highlights. :)
• Abi and Teten. Since Tin was already mentioned above. Hehe. Thanks for beingpart of those two meaningful morning devotions. Thanks for sharing bits of your lives. I'm just here, if you need anything. Wala lang, I'm just here. Haha. *hug*
• Leadership classmates! Ok, marami. You know who you are. I love you classmates! And Ate Bel pala! Ahaha
• Half of the Basic class. The other half hinde. Joke lang. I taught seminar4 for half of the basic class and hahaha -you're my first basic students. I know you were not so paying attention, but you are forgiven. XP
• Jho. I'm blessed by your life. It was not just checkout, it was sharing. hehe. See you around!
• Praise and Worship Team. Yes I was being bugged by my conscience since I didn't sing backup for the first day. Haha. Kulang man tayo ng cymbals at keyboard at nawawala man sa tono ang gitara at nalolost kaming kumakanta, To God Be the Glory pa rin! Special mention is Ate "Ligaya." Wala lang, gusto ko lang i-type ang "Ligaya." Haha
  
• Langley. "Taksil ka Langley!" Haha. Joke lang. See you sa Artists TA Time. (Hindi sa CSSP ha? haha. you are forgiven. XD)
• Artists TA. Kuya Ferdi, Ate Mai, Ate Lu, Ate Liza, Ate Coco, and students. *wink* See you sa pasukan!
• Paula and Bryan. House number 12 na iisa lang pala ang tao. Hehe. I'm blessed by your love for God.
• Ate Sars and Ate Mai. *sniff sniff* Hindi na ako yung alaga, ako na ang may mga alaga. T.T *hugs*
• Tim. Thanks for emcee-ing. I know you were tensed but you indeed stepped out in faith. I foresee: you'll me emcee-ing in other CCC events too. haha
• Miki. Thanks for being the ssuper tech person! Hmm.. And now I wonder if you found Kuya Benj's USB...
• Kuya Benj and Chil. Thanks for lending me your USB's. hehe
• Ate Tats. For being Train Committee Head. And for the toothpaste. Hehe. Sorry sa last night...
• Gen, Bianca, RJoy. Next LTI na lang yung plano natin. haha. Ladies na hindi makatulog kaya nagkwentuhan at nagtawanan ng naka-mute. *hahahahaha na naka-mute* RJoy salamat din sa sabon mo. haha
• All staff -people who organized the event. Kuya Al for his teaching. Kuya Ace for coordinating. Babayaran ko na po yung shirt...nag-support-raising po si Tin. hehe. Salamat po ng marami sa inyong paghihirap at pagsisikap na ma-glorify ang Panginoon sa LTI na ito.
• Everyone else. Directly or indirectly, you were a part of making this LTI (for me) special and LOUDER than before! Hindi dahil wala kang pangalan dito ay nakalimutan na kita. *hug*
• Myself. I thank myself for making this LTI more meaningful to me. Alabooo. haha
• The Lord. To You be the glory, the highest honor and praise! (***personal stuff here***)

Can't wait to go back to school! Movements everywhere. Until everyone knows someone who truly follows Jesus.

Poetry

I've been telling people or posting in Facebook, Multiply and Plurk that I loved my class last semester where we just did a lot of analyzing of poems, and a little bit on short story. English 11, if I get it right.

Shakepeare's Sonnet 116 or Let Me Not to the Marriage of True Minds...

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O no! it is an ever-fixed mark
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle's compass come:
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

And also Dylan Thomas' Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Another one is the famous poem by Elizabeth Browning How Do I Love Thee

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love thee to the depth and breadth and height My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight For the ends of Being and ideal Grace. I love thee to the level of everyday's Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light. I love thee freely, as men strive for Right; I love thee purely, as they turn from Praise. I love thee with a passion put to use In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith. I love thee with a love I seemed to lose With my lost saints, --- I love thee with the breath, Smiles, tears, of all my life! --- and, if God choose, I shall but love thee better after death.

It's the feeling of reading poems and analyzing, understanding them, that just makes me feel like, wow. After every class I feel good when I just read and appreciate poems. I wish others appreciate poetry too.

Poems taken in the class had deep meanings or are already acclaimed. But the first poem I have actually memorized from first grade is what would be forever memorable. It's from our first grade book, which I forgot the title. My apologies to the publisher and author.

When I was one, my sister was two

When I was three, my sister was four

When I was five, my sister was six

Now I'm seven and going to eight

Won't someone please tell

My sister to wait. 

writing on your hometown

I just finished editing one of my papers due on Tuesday (which is technically tomorrow since it's 12:06 am as typing this sentence). It's the travel story I had to do on one place I've visited, since our class was able to have a common "field trip" with our professor.

Our Prof. thought it was ok for me to write about my being a "tourist in my hometown" two summers back. The other week I was plurking and posting in Facebook about how my travel story was morphing into a food review. Made sense since I was typing it at around this time when my tummy was beginning to grumble. But as affirmed by Ate Coco, stories written about Vigan do turn into stories of food trips. I love Vigan food. I grew up eating them but I'll never get tired of pinakbet, Vigan longganiza, miki, pipian, sinanglao, Vigan empanada, bagnet, and kinilaw na ipon. Thinking about Vigan really doesn't simply trigger nostalgia, but hunger pangs.

I also realize that when you write about something you're interested in, you're more likely to tell more about it. So therefore, my travel story is now four pages long, single-space. I love it, the longest article I'll pass for this semester next to the interpretive feature (with a required number of at least 8 pages, double-spaced).

I'll continue editing two more stories, and go to school tomorrow (or later when the sun rises?) to find them dam experts. Yay for productivity!

Perhaps I could publish my papers here? Maybe, just maybe...

*photo upload fail.*

Desire

I stopped everything I was doing a while ago to clear my mind. And this is what I came about: desire. What is desire? Jamieson-Fausset-Brown says it's actually means lust in the original translation. Lust arising from one's own temperament and habit. 

I remembered that film we "watched" in Film100, the old Streetcar Named Desire. The most memorable line would be of course, Stanley Kowalski shouting "Stella!!!!" Haha. The movie's quote on desire:

Blanche DuBois: You're married to a madman. 

Stella: I wish you'd stop taking it for granted that I'm in something I want to get out of.
Blanche DuBois: What you are talking about is desire - just brutal Desire. The name of that rattle-trap streetcar that bangs through the Quarter, up one old narrow street and down another.
Stella: Haven't you ever ridden on that streetcar?
Blanche Du Bois: It brought me here. Where I'm not wanted and where I'm ashamed to be.
Stella: Don't you think your superior attitude is a little out of place?
Blanche DuBois: May I speak plainly?... If you'll forgive me, he's common... He's like an animal. He has an animal's habits. There's even something subhuman about him. Thousands of years have passed him right by, and there he is. Stanley Kowalski, survivor of the Stone Age, bearing the raw meat home from the kill in the jungle. And you - you here waiting for him. Maybe he'll strike you or maybe grunt and kiss you, that's if kisses have been discovered yet. His poker night you call it. This party of apes. 

Blanche was pertaining to Stella's husband Stanley. So what is the movie all about? Blanche ad Stella are sisters. Blanche is crazy, and gets to move in to her sister's house. Now Stanley is a cruel man who plays poker with his buddies in Stella's house. Tension builds up and they find out Blanche is indeed crazy. Worse happened when Stanley rapes Blanche (although it wasn't explicit in the movie). The story ends with Blanche being taken away, and Stanley shouting "STELLAAAA!!" to come back.

Oh desire. That streetcar that comes banging on one street corner, then to another. It takes you to places where you do not want to be, and you regret finding yourself in. Desire, the streetcar headed for destruction.

Note: By desire, I meant lust in this post.

Quote from Streetcar Named Desire from http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0044081/quotes

Image from http://www.impawards.com/1951/streetcar_named_desire.html

Ako Mismo

I now rarely watch TV. Who needs TV when you have internet? XD So when I first saw the tv ad with people (ordinary and celebrities) saying their pledges, I just said "Ano yan?"

It didn't cross my mind again until a friend sent me a link while we were talking in Facebook. He told me to visit this site. I didn't mind the link. Anuba. Sabi ko pahingi ng energy pack para sa Mafia ko tapos sesend-an mo ko ng link? When the energy pack came, only then did I bother asking him what the link was. After an hour, I clicked the link.

What welcomed me into the site was the page asking for what I'll do. It was a fill-in-the-blanks pop quiz. "Ako mismo ____." Then it was asking for my name. Che. Hindi ako nagppledge at naglalagay ng pangalan ko ng basta-basta ano. Duhr. Pag pledge kasi d ba kelangan pinapanindigan?. Plus, i didn't even know how it works. Haha. (Plus, the screaming color red was such an eyesore.) I clicked the Wall of Commitments first. What were the celebrities saying in the ads? Si Chris Tiu, sya raw mismo magmamahal sa mga taga-La Salle?

When I got to the Wall, napa-"ano naman to?" ako with matching taas ng kaliwang kilay. "Ako mismo surf the site." "Ako mismo kaya ko to." "Ako mismo bibili ako nian!... astigg eh."

May mga makabuluhan naman, syempre. Mga tipong "Ako mismo susunod sa mga batas-trapiko." "Ako mismo, magsisilbi sa Pilipinas pagka-gradweyt ko." "Ako mismo, boboto sa 2010."

Pero ayun lang, yung iba trip lang yung pag-pledge. Kahit sabihin nating may mga (or maraming) seryoso.

As of now, 9:31pm, 118,041 ang total pledges sa site.

Hindi ako kasama sa pledges.

Syempre curious ako kung anong may pakana ng movement na ito. Hehe. Sabi sa 'Who's behind Ako Mismo?"

"The spirit behind AKO MISMO is DDB Cares, the corporate social responsibility arm of the DDB Group in the Philippines, a group of companies engaged in the business of communications. For many years now, DDB Cares has championed advocacies it firmly believes in: protecting the environment, supporting the rights of women, the education of children, voting responsibly, to name a few.

...

DDB Cares believes there is an urgent need to bring hope to Filipinos, particularly the youth, in the face of growing cynicism that is heightened by the current political, economic, social and moral crises.

We also believe that most Filipinos still desire change and would like to overcome the manifestation of hopelessness which is apathy. This change can emanate from the power of the individual contributing in small, meaningful ways and building up to a collective effort that can change the nation." 

-from http://www.akomismo.org/main.php?s=whois

Youth nga ang target nya. Advocacy. To change the nation.

-----

Kanina pinost ko sa Plurk, "Why are we so poor?" Hindi ko naman ineexpect na may someone na sasagot sakin in full detail na as if alam nya lahat tungkol sa ekonomiya ng Pilipinas. Kaya ko lang naman pinlurk yun kasi kakatapos ko lang basahin yung librong kulay fuschia na ang title ay "Why are we so poor?" I remembered PolSci14 under Prof. Pilapil. Omigosh I remember these figures! Parang pinahang readings ng PolSci14!

Yes we're poor. Compared sa mga neighbors natin. Dati mas ok economy natin sa kanila. Pero ngayon... Projected din na in the long run, mas mapag-iiwanan pa tayo. Poor us. (kawawa tayo. mahirap tayo.) Ang sad.

-----

Ako? Anong gagawin ko?

1. Buy Pinoy. Pero let's face it, hanggang kaya lang. Kasi bilang import-dependent tayo, kahit sabihing dito yan gawa, yung materyales imported pa rin. So sinusuportahan pa rin ang imported goods. Tapos, mas mura ang gawang-China.

2. Boboto ako sa 2010. Di nga pa nga lang alam kung sino. At di pa pala ako registered.

3. Magreregister ako para makaboto sa 2010. haha

4. Magpapaka-tino ako sa pag-aaral para di nasasayang ang tax ng taumbayan. XD

5. Pagka-graduate ko, dito ako sa Pilipinas.

Tapos yung pagsunod sa mga batas, pagsunod sa mga magulang at authorities. Pagdadasal para sa bansa. Staying happy and hopeful.

May mga malalagay pala ako sa Ako Mismo,e. Bat nga ba ako di nagp-pledge?

Hoy hindi naman sa tinatamad ako. XP  Ano lang kasi... I can cite (or make up) a lot of reasons.

Ang point lang naman ay sabihin mo kung anong gagawin mo. Public declaration. Eh ano pa ba tong blog post na to? Ayoko ng redundant. lol.

Tapos di lahat seryoso. Ayoko na makihalo sa kanila.

Pag pledge kasi feeling ko obligado ako. I do things because I want to, not just because I'm obliged to do so.

At ayoko rin ng bandwagon.

Ayan may mga rason ako. Di mo ko mapipilit. haha

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from my multiply blog. I find it too long that I got lazy translating it to plain English (oh the code switching!).

poor cats, poor guy

The "serial cat killer" UP student is all over the net. Well, not really, the Ted Failon thing is mainstream. But that's not the point.

How can one brutally kill cats just because he wants to? I myself don't like cats. Sure they're cute - but only if they stay away from me.

For one to kill cats or be a serial cat killer is scary. It's crazy. It's psycho. But to even blog about it?  There must be something wrong with this guy, aside from his being a cat killer, that is. What bothers me is the idea that when one does something bad a crime, isn't he supposed to get rid of all the evidence. To not get caught? Hello? But he even bragged about it in his blog in Multiply. With that, I am deeply bothered.

Right now, advocates of animal rights are after him. He violated the animal welfare act. People are calling for his suspension and even expulsion from school. People (imcluding me) think he has some mental disorder. He mentioned names of some friends, and now they're looking for them too. And of course, he's pop-u-lar now that people know his name,  what he did, even his picture's being spread.

I pity all the cats this guy killed. Who knows how many poor kitties suffered from his brutish killings? But more than I pity the cats, I pity the person. It's because I feel (ang feeler ko lang talaga) that this guy has some mental disorder. His life could be, actually it's already in the process of being, ruined.

It's never right to kill animals just because one wants to. Further, this isn't a simple issue of killing cats, but of being able to commit such violence without batting an eyelash. It's brutal, ruthless, psycho, whatever you call it. Psycho serial killers start by killing cats so this case does call for immediate serious action. Take him to a psychiatrist, make him responsible for whatever crime he committed... What's important is that he gets treated with proper medication and rehabilitation. I believe that one can change. In this case, with proper treatment. 

We don't need to broadcast to the whole world that this person is heartless. Pure evil. Condemn the act, not the person. (Same as saying hate the smoke, but love the smoker.) Isn't it bad enough he'll be facing charges? Or that he's mentally ill?

I'm no animal rights activist, obviously. I one blogged about a crazy idea that vegetarians might be contributing a great deal to global warming. (And it's not because they're hot, duh.) But of course the blog was a joke. hehe

I salute animal lovers, and those who fight for animal welfare. But I sympathize more with people than with animals. I dunno, am I the only person who finds people more loveable than animals? Well, no. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has a soft spot for humans.

So anyway, all I wanted to say, really, is: Take the serial cat killer, have him treated by a psychiatrist. Pero wag nyo namang itrato yung tao na parang demonyo.