I'm your average superhero

I've been hiding this since I could remember. I've been sneaking up on different people, blending with the air or crawling from beneath the shadows. People I argue with end up crying for their mama not because I dazzle them with intelligence and wit but because I secretly inflict them with a poison stinger. I can confuse people from their strategies but this ability comes with a price, as I become almost weightless when I do so. I can also transform into a penguin so yeah, that little penguin you see following you might be me. And I can turn turtles into rubber. Comes in handy when I need to tie my hair.

See I'm your average superhero. I went through childhood, high school and now I'm finishing college and going to law school. Tough job, you bet.

How I wish. Ooops, be careful what you wish for. I'm not wishing for the superpowers I just mentioned above. It's just this "Random Superhero Generator." I find it funneeeh.

It says I have fortitude, but only when I'm happy. And I'm foolish so I use my superpowers for no good. No I don't want superpowers if that would mean I be notorious for being foolish.